Wedding Days

Yesterday Brie, along with 4 of her classmates had the honor of singing in the wedding of her elementary music teacher, Miss Fitzgerald. The wedding was held at Ski Roundtop and was lovely. Miss Fitzgerald had a String Quartet, a Bagpipe, a soloist, and her group of students perform musical numbers. I suppose as a music teacher you would expect that much music, right?The girls actually sang two songs... both sounded really nice, and during the second song they also did sign language. All 5 of them were so excited to do this for their beloved teacher. She inspired them in so many ways!

Mr & Mrs Scarlato!!! Don't they look so cute!

And my little beauty. Before I know it, she'll be heading down the isle (or should I say kneeling across the altar) being sealed to a wonderful man.

Time

Last evening Brie and I watched Bicentennial Man together. I don't remember seeing it when it was in theaters so I thought it would be fun to watch it with her. What a great movie! It was amusing while at the same time very thought provoking. At the end I cried (but then I cry at everything). I wasn't just crying because of the ending, but something much more profound and painful. I just held Brie and sobbed. My time is running out........


When I was a child everything looked so big. Colors were vivid. People were so tall. It took FOREVER to reach your destination. As an adult I was stunned to realize how much everything had changed. I know that seems silly, but it's true nonetheless. One of the hardest to experience was seeing my grandparent's home. I had such happy memories of being there. When I returned a few years ago it was truly sad to see it. The house was so tiny. The driveway (which had been so long in my memory) was very short. Everything was different and distressing at the same time. What had happened?


Another weird phenomenon occurs. Streets get shorter. I wanted to show the girls where Pappy and I had gone to the dairy to get milk. We drove down the Quarry Road... past the houses my mom and uncles had lived in when they were younger (with their spouses and children), past the quarry, and over the little stone bridge (where we played in the creek). I knew we still had a ways to go before I was at the end of the road. Or so I thought. Before I knew it (like a few seconds) I was at the stop sign. When had they shortened the road? I really thought that had happened. It wasn't until I made the left turn that I realized everything was still they way it had been when I was a child... only much smaller... again! What had been a "long trip" as a child was actually only a few minutes. By the way, the dairy is gone. The only way I realized where it had been was by the bend in the road and the old paved parking lot on the hill. I could still smell it in my mind though. Kind of sad.

So I really got to thinking about all of this. Here I am at 44... not "old" by any means, but certainly "half way" through life. What have I done? How much time do I have remaining? Will I be here tomorrow.... or 50 years from now? Of course no one knows. When I considered leaving my children, I was overcome with a deep sadness . I know I struggle with them at times, however, they're still the reason for my getting up in the morning. I love them with all my heart. I felt such profound sorrow at the thought of not being able to see them living their lives... of being with them forever. Yes, I know about eternal life... what I mean is being with them here in mortality. If they passed before me, I'd be fine going with them to the other side of the veil. I cried my eyes out.

Am I selfish for wanting to stay here forever? Actually I don't really want that. I just want to be with my family and loved ones. I don't want to miss a second of their lives. I know I will have to say goodbye at some point but at the same time I know it's only for a marked period of time. I can't imagine not knowing I'll see them again. How do people survive without the knowledge of life after death? I'm pretty sure I've used up half of my time.... Have I made a difference? Have I contributed to humanity? Have I done something "of good note or praiseworthy?" Will my descendants have a good example to follow? I hope so.

All this from a movie!

Drew

 

There's nothing better in life than holding a newborn. Here I am holding precious little Drew. It's so much fun to be a "proxy aunt" again. Life was pretty sweet right at that moment!

Girls Camp 08'

 

Here are some of the highlights from Emile's trip to Girls Camp this year. She went up with Lesa on Monday. The weather was absolutely wonderful... super mild temps with VERY low humidity. That's a first for her. The theme this year was Hero's of the Scriptures. Tibbs portrayed Moroni. Doesn't he look just him!?! The girls had a great time hiking, eating, pulling pranks, and of course Stake Night. They all love it when the Stake and Ward leaders come up with all their treats. From what I hear Testimony Meeting was fantastic. Isn't always when you're at camp? Emile was stunned that there were no severe storms this year. That's a first for her... usually they get at least one... last year there were two during the week. It was good for her to go.. to be with other Young Women.. to get closer to her Heavenly Father.. Girls Camp is the best.!!

Give Me a Break

I'm so tired of how bad society is getting. I know it's a sign of the times. I know I should be expecting more and more sin and weirdness to happen, however, this one takes the cake in my mind. It's the "Pregnant Man."
I totally don't understand why this "guy" is getting the praise and adoration "He" (SHE) is. "He" is a SHE for the love of Pete. "He" doesn't have male reproductive organs, SHE does. "He" doesn't have female chromosomes, SHE does. Without hormone treatments and surgery to remove "His" breasts, "He" would still look like the female SHE was born as. "His" wife had to use a turkey baster type device to artifically impregnate her "husband." What gives?????

Allow me to show you an example of what a truly "pregnant" man looks like. Actually it's Fetus in Fetu, but in this world who really cares what it is, right?.This is a real MAN. HE does have all HIS male parts. This is not a fake photo. "Sanju Bhagat’s said he felt self-conscious about his pregnant belly. OK, kind of pregnant belly since he’s a man:

But while operating on Bhagat, Mehta saw something he had never encountered. As he cut deeper into Bhagat’s stomach, gallons of fluid spilled out — and then something extraordinary happened.

"To my surprise and horror, I could shake hands with somebody inside," he said. "It was a bit shocking for me." …

"He just put his hand inside and he said there are a lot of bones inside," she said. "First, one limb came out, then another limb came out. Then some part of genitalia, then some part of hair, some limbs, jaws, limbs, hair." …

At first glance, it may look as if Bhagat had given birth. Actually, Mehta had removed the mutated body of Bhagat’s twin brother from his stomach. Bhagat, they discovered, had one of the world’s most bizarre medical conditions — fetus in fetu. It is an extremely rare abnormality that occurs when a fetus gets trapped inside its twin. The trapped fetus can survive as a parasite even past birth by forming an umbilical cordlike structure that leaches its twin’s blood supply until it grows so large that it starts to harm the host, at which point doctors usually intervene."

So here we see the only possibility of a male "pregnancy." God didn't intend for His precious children to come to earth in a male body. As women, we are blessed with this awesome priviledge. Regardless of how difficult our pregnancies may be, we are still willing to go through it again to bring spirits into mortality. It's always a miracle to me how amazing pregnancy and birth truly is. To have this sacred gift defiled in this manner is irritating to me. Shame on society for embracing this "man" and "his" decision to have a child. The only one left to feel compassion for is the precious child who will soon be born to this confused and selfish person. Shame on you!

My Favorite Things

Rain drops on roses... whiskers on kittens....

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS............

I love snowflakes... It's magical to watch them floating down from the sky. It's wonderful enjoying how clean and quiet it is when it snows, especially at night.

What would winter be if it didn't follow a spectacular fall? After a hot summer I savor the sights and scents of autumn.

The older I get the more I'm driven to record the events of my life... and the lives of those I hold dear to my heart. Someday soon I will be a memory. What I do today will result in how much is known about me in the years to come.

I retreat to cottage gardens. There is a simple beauty found there. God is good!

Sweet german chocolate cake. It's been my favorite as far back as I can remember. What a special treat.

Soft and tender baby feet. I miss my babies feeties... they're gone too fast.

Anything that can be done with my hands will be tried. I have felt much pleasure in making items that are uniquely made with my own skill and love.

Of course I adore Christmas. It's the time of year when we remember the greatest gift of all... our Savior's birth. It's a time when we take the time to enjoy family and friends. When we try for a little while to be just a bit kinder.

Say Hello

Here he is... little Drew.

And I couldn't resist.... the entire family, too!CONGRATS, CONGRATS, CONGRATS!!! We Love you ALL!

P.S.

Josi just called... Drew weighs 8lbs 11.8oz and is 20" long. He's just 4oz short of Grace's birthweight... and nearly 2lbs more than my children weighed. Big Boy!

IT'S A BOY!

It's official. Andrew (Drew) Steele has arrived!!! WOOHOO! He made his debut at 5:40AM. Josi is guessing a birth weight of 8lbs (he hasn't made his way to the nursery yet). He's WAY CUTE according to his Mama. Josi did it 100% natural... no meds! You go girl!

Late Night Caller

I'm such a reliable friend. Yeah Right! Some of the best layed plans can go a tiny bit haywire, right?

So, a very pregnant (and overdue) AND ready to deliver Josi decided to go into labor tonight. Since we live close to one another (and are friends) we were on her "standby" list for help. Due to the heat and humidity, I'm running window A/C units to stay cool. To keep my bedroom really comfortable I shut my door to keep the cool air where I want it. Makes sense doesn't it! Of course with the door shut and the A/C on, I can't hear the doorbell. I also couldn't hear the phone ringing (even though it was on the bed stand right beside my bed). I think the ringer must have been off.

I'm sound asleep when I think I hear someone yelling my name. I'm not sure if it's a dream or not so I get up to look out my windows. I see nothing. I'm just about to go back to bed when I hear a really loud "Brenda ******." Ok, so I am hearing my name being called out.... rather urgently I might add. I open a window and yell down "what." Duh... it's Josi and Dave. They have the kids and need to get in. MY BAD!!!

All is well now. Grace and Will are asleep in the living room. Dave and Josi are at the hospital. A new life is about to begin this mortal journey. Life is good.

Heart Ache

My heart is hurting. I've never felt such pain in my life as I have these past several months (particularly since late April). When I compare what I'm experiencing now to my previous challenges (childhood trauma, pregnancy loss, divorce, death of loved ones, car accident, financial struggles, etc.) none of it compares to the sadness I feel these days. NOTHING. I suppose that is the sign of the love a mother has for her children. Nothing else really seems to matter when you see your child struggling and nothing you say or do makes a difference... It truly never entered my mind that being a mother would hurt this much.Since I understand a person not wanting their personal "baggage" out for all to see, it would be unfair for me to write exactly what my Emile is going through in this type of forum. I can say that the majority of it isn't much different than what most teens her age are going through as well. The only difference that I can see is in how her challenges could be handled. Of course I'm referring to the gospel.

I can so clearly see (and actually always have been able to) why our leaders have instructed us to keep the commandments, pray, study the scriptures, be morally clean, etc. Obviously agency enters into this and there's where the problems begin. Example: No Dating until you're 16!
The church says not to date until you're 16 (and then double date in the beginning). At the same time the youth can start going to church dances at 14. Using that criteria, I allowed Emile to go to Homecoming with a group of friends (6 girls, 2 boys). If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have let her go. BIG MISTAKE on my part. Things have rapidly gone down hill since then. While Emile isn't "dating" formally, she does have a "boyfriend." We're at a point in life where Emile is going to make choices which I don't agree with; choices I know will lead to sorrow for her. Regardless of what I can see coming, she won't listen. She is determined to make her own decisions... somewhat recklessly at times.I feel that so much of what Emile is going through is my fault. What if... I had done this or that? What if... I hadn't yelled at her so many times? What if... I hadn't put so much responsibility on her young shoulders? What if... I had had Family Home Evening every week... went to church each and every Sunday, had family prayer EVERY morning and night? WHAT IF, WHAT IF, WHAT IF??I fear for my child. I weep for my child. I am becoming physically ill with worry for my child. I am angry at times because of the choices my child is making. When I see my child hurt, I hurt too. I feel turmoil about how to reach my child. I know I can't save my child....

When all else is said and done all that is left is for me to PRAY for my child.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

Last Saturday was my birthday. I'm officially 44 now. WooHoo!! It was a non-eventful day with the exception of a get together at Lesa and John's home for dinner. We had tacos and spanish rice.... and of course CAKE!

What's a birthday without the cake, right? It was a red velvet with cream cheese frosting and it was ohhhh so good.

This is all that was left by the time we left. Another day another calorie! Isn't life great.

Mystery Cake

The other afternoon Emile had some friends over and they decided to make a cake. Can you tell what kind of cake it is?
This is it before frosting.This is it after frosting (sorry the pic is blurry).

It was a yellow cake with green food coloring throughout. It had one layer of green frosting topped with another layer of purple frosting. It actually tasted really good, however, it resulted in bright green poop. Nice.

Bon Appetite!!

HOLY CRAP!!

Boy did I get the shock of my life yesterday. With oil prices going up and up, I decided to call my oil company to lock in on next winter's prices. I just about crapped my pants when they quoted the prices. Maybe that's why I have diarrhea today.

Last heating season I locked in on a "flexible" plan. It cost $55.00 to do so. The lowest amount per gallon I paid was $2.79... the most was $2.90.

Here are my options for next heating season:

FIXED: $120.00 to lock in at $4.90 per gallon for every delivery

FLEXIBLE: $240.00 to lock in at current market rate up to no more than $4.80.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!! DOES THAT JUST BLOW YOUR MIND!! In addition to bleeding to death because of price shock, I'm also wrapping my head with duct tape to keep it from exploding!Before I need a transfusion to keep from bleeding to death, I would like to suggest the following...

START DRILLING FOR MORE OIL WITHIN OUR OWN BORDERS!!
Perhaps U.S. citizens don't know this, but we're leasing part of the gulf to China so they can drill for oil where we can't. WHY?? I don't give a rats rearend about the caribu (sp) in the Arctic.... DRILL!!! Stop worrying about filling our cars with food (corn) and come up with some real solutions. And for the love of Pete.... stop blaming it ALL on President Bush! Keep in mind Washington is now run by the Democratic Party. If it were just about Bush and Cheney, why wouldn't the big shot Dems fix it all just to prove how bad Bush is? Who are they in bed with?????

In the mean time, get ready to be cold this winter. I've already told the girls we'll be turning the heat lower than the 67 we kept it at when we were awake (60 when we were asleep or at school/work). I don't know what else to do.