Total Confusion

I have had several people tell me that when their children hit about 14 they morphed into something they could not exactly identify. I now understand what they were talking about. My cute little Em has become a complete stranger to me. I have no idea who she is anymore. We are about as far apart from one another as any two people could be.I used to be able to know that I could count on Emile... that she was where she said she was going to be... doing what she said she'd be doing. Now I don't know. I'm totally confused about where I stand, what she expects from our family, and where she wants to be. One thing that does come across loud and clear? She hates me and everything I stand for. My rules are stupid. She doesn't want to be around me. As soon as she graduates... "I'm out of here."I truly don't know where my daughter has gone. I don't know Emile at all. I grieve the loss of my relationship with her... yet at the same time I'm angry at the fact that she continues to push those who love her the most away. She says she wants nothing from me (in particular), yet she's unable to stand on her own. She doesn't want to abide by family rules, yet I cannot make her leave my home when she disregards/breaks the rules.In her mind I must put up with whatever she sends my way because "I'm a teenager and that's what we do." Am I wrong? Do I have to put up with her disrespect and disregard? I don't feel I should. I have a legal, moral, and financial obligation to this young lady. I cannot just walk away from her. At the same time I'm not sure how to continue living with her. I truly don't know what to do anymore.I love my daughter. I never ever thought a day like this would come. I miss the special times I used to have with Emile. I pray for guidance on how to deal with these tough days. Emile brought such joy into my life the day she was born. I hurt when I see where we are today. This is NOT how I want to be with her. She is my child... I want to be with her... to love her... to have joy in her. It's just incredibly painful right now.To say we're hanging on by a thread would be a HUGE understatement.

Kids Will Be Kids

Another riddle...

What do you get when you combine a train bridge over a creekWith a bunch of teenagers who are afraid of nothing?

A body decorated with bruises.Em's legs look much worse than these pictures show... Oh, to be young and daring again.
KIDS WILL BE KIDS!!!

FYI... Just to clarify, Emile and her friends weren't jumping today (Sunday). They were up on the creek Wednesday.

Meet Daphne

It's been a little over 3 weeks since Emile's accident (and no vehicle of our own) and I'm so VERY excited to announce an addition to our family. I'd like everyone to meet.... DAPHNE!!!Daphne is a 2001 Ford Escape. She runs well and is in fantastic shape. I'm so pleased to finally have a vehicle of my own again.Daphne's back end. Beautiful, right?!?And finally, here's Dopey. Dopey has been my companion since I first hung him from the rear view mirror of a car I had 8 years ago. I've always managed to remember to get him even though 2 cars he rode in were totaled. He's always there giving me a smile. So here he is, hanging out again. Finally, as the song goes.... On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again... YAY!!!

To Breathe or Not to Breathe

That is the question. With the heat wave we've been enduring the past 6 days, my poor lungs have become stressed. I did well until Wednesday before beginning to have trouble catching by breath. Fortunately this time I didn't wait to seek medical help. See, I told you I learn..... eventually.For the past month I've been using an Albuterol Inhaler with a spacer (so more of the medication gets into my lungs where it's needed). Yesterday I called Dr. K. and asked if I could use it more often than once every 4 hours. He bumped it up to once every 2 hours with the instruction that if I didn't improve by today he would need to see me.After struggling to breathe since 2:30am today, I went in to the doctor. After a chest X-ray which came back clear, he put me on a steroid for 5 days and prescribed a Nebulizer so I can do my own breathing treatments at home. This is the unit I got. It's portable and can even be used by hooking the power source into a vehicle lighter. I'll be doing treatments every 6 hours for at least 3 or 4 days until things settle back down. At least I'm not in the hospital again. Woo Hoo!!!!

Teenagers!

When I was a kid, all I dreamed about was growing up, getting married, and having babies. I'm fairly certain I had a house with shutters and a white picket fence around it. We all know that reality is oft times different than the dreams of our youth... when we still saw life through rose colored glasses. Which leads me to today.

I am now the mother of 2 beautiful daughters, both of whom happen to be teenagers. I just have one question. How in the heck did this happen???? My darling little angels have morphed into these creatures I don't even recognize at times. It's down right frightening.Now I deal with the "typical teenager" mentality. I no longer know anything. My rules are stupid. I shouldn't be forcing anyone to do anything. I should be allowing mistakes to be made now while I can still save them from their own stupidity! I should give them their freedom and space..... On the other hand, I should be buying them cars. I should be providing for their physical needs and welfare. I should buy them what they want when they want it. I should not ask them to do any chores or help out around the house (that's just being mean). I should let them stay up until the wee hours of the morning and sleep until noon. And when they finally do drag their butts out of bed, I should let them run free for the rest of the day. Heck, it's summer, that's what teenagers do.

Needless to say, I'm losing my ever loving mind. I'm just living for the day when I'm no longer stupid. It's coming. For the record, I can't wait until reality slaps them up side the head... just like it's doing to me. Paybacks can be a bugger.

Summer's Here

After perfect weather last week.... as in temps in the mid to upper 70's with low humidity in the daytime and mid 50's at night, we're in the middle of a smack down right now. Summer has definitely arrived... and with a vengeance!The temperature today was 103 with the relative humidity at 37%... which makes the heat index... drum roll please..... 107-110 (give or take)!!!! It was so flipping hot today. How hot was it you ask????????? In addition to being able to fry an egg on the sidewalk, here's what's left of the ice cream truck that tried to drive through our neighborhood.....The poor ice cream man. So sad. All I can say is... I'm really wishing it would.......

SNOW!!!!

I Pledge Allegiance...

I Promise to be faithful and true (Promise my loyalty)

to the flag...

to the emblem that stands for and represents

of the United States...

all 50 states, each of them individual, and individually represented on the flag

of America...

yet formed into a UNION of one Nation.

and to the Republic...

And I also pledge my loyalty to the Government that is itself a Republic, a form of government where the PEOPLE are sovereign,

for which it stands,...

this government also being represented by the Flag to which I promise loyalty.

one Nation under God,...

These 50 individual states are united as a single Republic under the Divine providence of God, "our most powerful resource" (according to the words of President Eisenhower)

Indivisible,...

and can not be separated. This part of the original version of the pledge was written just 30 years after the beginning of the Civil War and demonstrates the unity sought in the years after that divisive period in our history)

with Liberty...

The people of this Nation being afforded the freedom to pursue "life, liberty, and happiness",

and Justice...

And each person entitled to be treated justly, fairly, and according to proper law and principle,

for All...

And these principles afforded to EVERY AMERICAN, regardless of race, religion, color, creed, or any other criteria. Just as the flag represents 50 individual states that can not be divided or separated, this Nation represents millions of people who can not be separated or divided.

Thus it is that when you Pledge Allegiance to the United States Flag, You:
*Promise your loyalty to the Flag itself.
*Promise your loyalty to your own and the other 49 States.
*Promise your loyalty to the Government that unites us all,
Recognizing that we are ONE Nation under God,
That we can not or should not be divided or alone,
And understanding the right to Liberty and Justice belongs to ALL of us.

HAPPY 4th OF JULY!!

The Land I Love

With the 4th of July just a few hours away, I thought I'd take a few minutes to think about what it is about this nation that I love. There are times when I become frustrated and saddened by what I see going on with our elected officials, however, I still can't think of another country in which I'd want to live.

Click to enlarge image.

Here are just a few of the things which I am thankful for.
1. My freedom.... I am free to succeed or fail. I can move about when and where I wish. I can speak my mind. I can achieve happiness in whatever form that means. It's entirely up to me.
2. My religion... which I am free to choose. I can worship when and how I desire.
3. My home.
4. Educational opportunities available to me and my children.
5. Food which is readily available.
6. Friends and family I can turn to and rely upon when things get tough.
7. My children.. who I love dearly even though they think I'm unfair and really mean.
8. Employment opportunities which aid in my ability to provide for my family.
9. Those who serve and protect me on a daily basis.... such as, police, fire fighters, medical professionals, and military personnel.
10. A loving Heavenly Father... who has blessed this nation. He is the ultimate source of all the blessings which I have in my life each and every day.

I love The United States of America and everything I have because of living here. "God shed his grace on thee.... " What a special day were are about to celebrate.