The Ugliness of Life (Abandonment)

When I was a sophmore in high school I lived in Arizona. We had actually lived there since I was in 6th grade (probably the longest we'd ever stayed in one school district). One day we came home from school and Mom told us we'd be going to Pennsylvania for a visit. To be honest, I'm not sure how much notice she gave us... I do, however, remember being told I was to pack anything I really wanted to take along in a foot locker. Tony and I each had one of our own.

I was pretty excited. We'd traveled many times to PA before, but we'd never been allowed to pack such a large amount. Maybe I should have been questioning what was going on. I didn't. I trusted Mom.

Before we knew it Mom, Tony, and I were on a Greyhound Bus headed across the U.S.

This was actually something we'd done many times before so it wasn't really out of the ordinary. People fly more today, but when I was a kid it was quite normal to travel by bus. It was cool seeing the country and meeting new people. Again, nothing seemed out of place.

When we arrived in PA, we "moved in" with my sister, Teresa. After a few days Mom had us register in school. I think I did question this, knowing I was already a student at a school in AZ.... I was told it was just so we wouldn't fall behind on our studies. I totally believed this.

Everything was going fine for a month. I loved being with my sister. I felt safe. There was so much less drama (because it was just us kids and our mom... no man at the moment... he was in AZ). Teresa and her family were fun to be with. Life seemed to be looking up. Was I in for a shock.

Another day... another trip home from school... another disappointment just ahead. I came through the door and Teresa was there to greet me. We talked for a bit. I can't remember everything except that somehow along the line I was told that Mom had left. When I asked when she'd be back Teresa explained Mom had gone home.... like as... back to AZ. I was stunned! I don't think I believed Teresa at first. I looked for Mom's luggage. It was gone. She really was gone. How could she do it? How could she just leave like that?

Mom just walked away. She left us without looking back. Oh sure Teresa tried to tell us how upset Mom was... that she didn't want to leave that way. Mom was worried her health wasn't strong enough to handle us crying when she left. There was nothing.... no Adios, Farewell, Arrivederci, Auf Widersein, So Long, Good-bye, See Ya, Good Riddance.... nothing! Tony and I both cried that night. I know I cried off and on for days. I was terribly hurt but at the same time completely ticked off at her for being such a coward. I didn't give a rats rear end how worried she was about her health. She was dumping us and running back to a man. She had deliberately chosen a man over her children. Why? We never got the answer, only excuses.

Just another day.... another one of life's hard lessons. Another wound I need to heal.