Unfortunately life was much more cruel than some could even begin to imagine. After years of abuse, mistreatment, emotional neglect, being told he'd never amount to anything, and a complete lack of support, he began to lose hope. Not completely at first... but a little bit more each day. He was fading away.... Eventually the pain he was living with became more than he could handle. He had to get away. There was nothing left. He was 15 when he gave up. Finally he could be free... even if it was only for a brief period of time. He had done his best to do the right things. There was nothing left to hold on to. He turned to something he had never tried before. He began using drugs to escape the ugly world he lived in. This life would become his new "reality." His life has been in turmoil ever since. To be more accurate, his life has been in turmoil since the day he was born. He has had more heartache than seems fair. This tale doesn't have a "And they all lived happily ever after" ending. Far from it.
This "tale" is about my little brother, Tony. Let me say this as clearly as I can. I LOVE MY BROTHER. I have always loved him. I will always love him. Some may see him and harshly judge him. To them I say step off! You haven't got a clue as to who he was. You only see who he "is" today. You are missing the man he is inside of the shell. Just as you, he is a SON of God. You are no better than he in the eyes of our Heavenly Father. Perhaps, just perhaps, Tony is better than you are. He isn't judging you as you are judging him. He hasn't said anything about the people you are. He hasn't said "You had your chance." He hasn't tried to take something from you that means more to you than life itself. AND he'd never try to exclude you from maintaining a relationship with the people you adore.
My brother did accomplish something great in his life. He did become a father. He did have a son. He did name him Leo. And Tony did the best he could to be a good daddy. Don't ever doubt that FACT for a moment. Tony loves Leo with all his heart. AND just as important, Leo loves his daddy. That is a bond that will NEVER be broken. Nor should it be. Right now Tony is about to lose parental "rights" to Leo. It's a very long story and very painful on many levels. Suffice it to say that I'm so thankful to not be walking in my brother's shoes. I cannot imagine the pain he is experiencing. It's got to be terrible.
I had the pleasure of meeting Leo today. He is a wonderful little boy. He is 9 years old now. Leo was able to fly in for a visit with his extended family and meet all of us. It was great. The moment I saw him in person, I saw Tony when he was that age. It was bittersweet. I was taken back to when we were kids playing cowboys and indians. Leo has his father's coloring and gorgeous eyes. He's also very smart and witty. You can see that Tony did a good job parenting for the first 7 1/2 years of Leo's life (Tony dropped Leo off with a family about a year and a half ago).
Leo has a tender heart and dreams just like his daddy did. Tony still dreams... of that I am sure. His dream now is for Leo to have a better life than he is able to provide for him. Don't mistake that for lack of caring or not loving Leo. That couldn't be further from the truth. Tony wants what's best for Leo.
Tony, I give you my word. I will continue to do my best to make sure Leo is placed with the family that we (me, Cindy, and Teresa) feel is best suited to care for and love Leo. That family is the Douglas family... Lu and Steve. I know how much Lu loves you. She and Steve will do their very best for Leo and will never try to shut you out of his life. We will do our best to see that Leo's story does have a "happily ever after" ending.
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